The Toolbox was inspired by a relationship that ultimately failed. This man could fix anything. He was a gifted electrical engineer who went on to start an electrical company. After his team of two became a team of 125, he sold the company for millions and moved to a twelve hundred acre farm, deep in the hills of middle Tennessee. By the time I met him, he had amassed a collection of vehicles and structures on his farm. Five leisure motorcycles, four cars, two boats, several racing motorcycles, and a camper. The main house, the two garages for the motorcycles and cars, the shop for the racing bikes, the boats, and the camper. The hunting cabin, the chapel on the hill, and acres and acres of land. Oh, and the plot of land where he grew all of his vegetables for the year. When I say he could fix anything, I mean ANYTHING. Except relationships. He'd been married three times, and three times the marriage failed. Why? Crazy women. I stayed long enough to see the patterns. He'd show love then distance. His humor was genuine and playful then crass and offensive. He was intimate but also rude. And none of it was ever his fault. When I brought my thoughts, feelings, or needs to him, they were dismissed. I noticed the limitation this placed on the relationship. We could never repair anything. If anything went wrong, there was no way to make it right. One night as I was leaving, I noticed a missing tire cap on my rear tire. He quickly jumped to his feet and found one that fit in his garage. Fixed! I thought to myself, If that man had as much skill with relationships as he does with every part of his farm, we'd be golden. If only he had a relational toolbox... The idea hit me: don't we all need a toolbox for our relationships? How many of us were taught the essential tools for making relationships work? How many of us were instructed on how to listen, apologize, or confront someone effectively? Did we grow up knowing why compassion is essential? Did someone talk to us about empathy? Most of these elements are modeled or experienced, not taught. So I sat down with pen and paper. What are the essential tools for relationship? I asked myself. I wrote down about twenty and narrowed it down to twelve. The Toolbox was born. This book is a primer. It's a page by page owners manual for people in relationships. And that means all of us. The most important and significant factor of a satisfying life is the quality of our relationships, but so many of us are flying blind. We