Beautiful Life

She was the one who got away ... the only one he ever wanted.

Webster's defines to heal as "to make healthy, whole or sound; restore to health, free from ailment."

But Webster's also defines to heal as "to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul."

My soul is shattered.

I'm one hell of a mess because I need both and I don't know how both can possibly happen. Sure, I know my body will heal. I understand the science of healing-it's my profession. But the ache in my heart and fear in my head? I'm not sure I'll ever get over that.

Losing your unborn child at the hands of your abusive husband will do that to you.

I've been trained to fear those who are supposed to love-conditioned to watch my every move and word so as not to suffer the consequences. For me, healing might never be a possibility.

Or I didn't think so until Tony Carpino fixated himself in my life.

Tony is patient. Determined. He knows exactly what I need even before I do. He wants to give me everything, make my life beautiful when it's always been ugly. But as determined and patient as he might be, I don't know if I can ever be whole again. It doesn't matter how long I've wanted him ... and I've wanted Tony Carpino for a long time.

This is a story of heartache and broken souls. A story of being exactly what the one you love needs when they need it, even if it goes against every being of your nature.

Because love isn't love unless it's selfless.