Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment

From the New York Times bestselling author of Platonic, a groundbreaking guide exploring the promise (and the limits) of secure attachment to help us feel better and boost our self-esteem.

What if what you thought you knew about secure attachment was wrong? Or even making you more insecure?

Dr. Marisa G. Franco is the New York Times bestselling friendship expert whose advice Glennon Doyle calls "wise, concrete, and effective"--Dr. Franco literally wrote the book on how to become a securely attached friend. But since then, she's realized that connecting with others is only part of the equation--you also have to feel good about yourself, and self-esteem can be elusive.

As secure attachment has become a status symbol, many of us are labeling ourselves secure, while ignoring the parts of ourselves that aren't. Ironically, this self-neglect makes us more insecure. Studies find that when we feel insecure, other things we think should raise our self-esteem in fact backfire:

• Optimistic self-talk makes us feel worse, not better.
• Positive feedback on our work raises our blood pressure.
• Compliments make us uncomfortable.

Positive events, when they threaten the story of who we are, ironically, make us feel worse. The good news: we change the story we have our worth--self-esteem is a skill that can be learned--and you can get better at it, which in turn strengthens all your other relationships. In Worth, Dr. Franco mines promising new research at the intersection of psychology and neuroscience to show us why so many of us still struggle with self-esteem (even in this self-obsessed age), and how we can build a foundation of lasting self-worth that doesn't rely on likes or followers. Through exercises, stories, and the cutting-edge science of memory reconsolidation, updating damaging memories to change the stories we tell ourselves, Dr. Franco shows how we can bring meaning, self-worth, and secure attachment back into our lives, from the inside out.

If you feel like you've read every book on healing, but you are still struggling, Worth will help you finally find the transformation you've been looking for.