Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters' soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son's adventures in misfortune.

Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, "Have I told you about the time...," Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears.