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The Accomplice

The Accomplice - Melissa Jacobus

The Accomplice


Natalia looked to me for help, telling the woman that she had a disability, I was her mother, and she needed me to speak on her behalf. The woman, belittling Natalia, told her she didn't look like she had a disability, and she wouldn't allow me to help. Here's how the conversation went:

"Well, honey, how old are you?"

"I'm twenty," Natalia said.

"Well, are you going to have Mommy helping you when you turn twenty-one?"

I jumped in. "So, how old are you?"

"Thirty-five," she said.

"Oh, I see you are wearing glasses. Are you going to take those glasses off when you turn thirty-six?"

The woman called her supervisor. While we were waiting for the supervisor, Natalia said something very thoughtful about her challenges. "Mom, things are hard for me. I need assistance just to get the assistance."

When Melissa Jacobus adopted her children, she believed all her prayers for a family had finally been answered. But while other parents were dealing with the usual challenges that come with raising children, Melissa experienced those challenges tenfold.

"The Accomplice" follows several years of her life as two of her children, now grown in the eyes of society yet still cloaked in an invisible disability, struggle to survive a world that doesn't understand them, their needs, or their disability. Substance abuse, homelessness, jail time, and worse can be all-too-common outcomes for those impacted by FASD, also known as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders.

As Melissa tries to advocate and safeguard her children from these outcomes, she realizes her ability to help them, and others, is at the mercy of an uninformed society.

"The Accomplice" is a call to action for the country to acknowledge FASD for what it is-a developmental disability that affects millions-and to help society recognize that this "invisible" disability is more than visible, it's a crisis.


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Natalia looked to me for help, telling the woman that she had a disability, I was her mother, and she needed me to speak on her behalf. The woman, belittling Natalia, told her she didn't look like she had a disability, and she wouldn't allow me to help. Here's how the conversation went:

"Well, honey, how old are you?"

"I'm twenty," Natalia said.

"Well, are you going to have Mommy helping you when you turn twenty-one?"

I jumped in. "So, how old are you?"

"Thirty-five," she said.

"Oh, I see you are wearing glasses. Are you going to take those glasses off when you turn thirty-six?"

The woman called her supervisor. While we were waiting for the supervisor, Natalia said something very thoughtful about her challenges. "Mom, things are hard for me. I need assistance just to get the assistance."

When Melissa Jacobus adopted her children, she believed all her prayers for a family had finally been answered. But while other parents were dealing with the usual challenges that come with raising children, Melissa experienced those challenges tenfold.

"The Accomplice" follows several years of her life as two of her children, now grown in the eyes of society yet still cloaked in an invisible disability, struggle to survive a world that doesn't understand them, their needs, or their disability. Substance abuse, homelessness, jail time, and worse can be all-too-common outcomes for those impacted by FASD, also known as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders.

As Melissa tries to advocate and safeguard her children from these outcomes, she realizes her ability to help them, and others, is at the mercy of an uninformed society.

"The Accomplice" is a call to action for the country to acknowledge FASD for what it is-a developmental disability that affects millions-and to help society recognize that this "invisible" disability is more than visible, it's a crisis.


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