Depressed people are not logical. People do not understand why we do the things we do. Even the people in distress do not know why they make their decisions. We live second to second and things just seem to happen. It is like being in a car that is spinning out of control. One does not know what the result will be, and no one is in charge. Fate will decide for you. I used to live that way, gambling that the wheel of fate would turn in my favor. Twice in my life I went spinning out of control and suicide seemed to be the only way to end the torment.