That's right; for more than 45 years, and always in an April issue, CQ magazine has carried intriguing Amateur-related articles written by Ted, who used the pen name "Professor Emil Heisseluft." Generally instructive, at times infuriating-one screed he penned so inflamed the Amateur Radio community that our readers tied up the phone lines complaining to CQ, the ARRL, and the FCC for three days-but always engaging, Professor Heisseluft has provided our readers with more than a few laughs in a month known for its absurd tricks. Former CQ magazine Editor Alan Dorhoffer, K2EEK (SK), once remarked: "A Heisseluft piece isn't worth a tinker's dam unless at least five people cancel their subscriptions." Alas, on that basis, the good professor struck gold more often than not.