Author's hurricane and flooding video aired on national television by ABC's Nightline to 3.9 million people. A finalist in the Global eBook Awards, this is a behind-the-scenes look at cruise ships in a way that's never been done before. Some of the stories are shocking, some are enlightening, but most are just laugh-out-loud entertaining. This tour behind those "Crew Only" doors will reveal: - How romance on a cruise ship is unlike anywhere else - The insane things passengers do - Why alcohol is mandatory at sea - How nude cruises compare to Christian cruises - A first hand account of damage from getting caught in a hurricane Jay Herring was an American senior officer and one of the few who had physical access to the entire ship. He worked with every department and every senior officer, including the captain. His wife worked in the casino, and combined they worked for Carnival Cruise Lines for 10 years and sailed on over 503 cruises. If you've ever wondered what happens below deck on a cruise ship, then get ready to laugh through an experience unlike any other! . . Chapter 1 How Easy Is Romance on a Cruise Ship? I had been onboard my first ship for five days when I went to the crew bar and met a woman from Trinidad and Tobago. She was a black woman and she was overweight, maybe even a little flabby, but such a sweetheart. I saw her the next night in the crew bar and she looked upset so I went over and sat down. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I just had an argument with the chief purser," she said with her Caribbean accent. "That's too bad." "Yes, I do not get along with the pursers on this ship very well," she said, starting to tear up a little. "I do not have many friends onboard." Although I liked her, I could understand why others might shy away. She had slow, almost voodoo-like mannerisms that bordered on creepy. But she was so easy to talk to and, like me, perfectly content to sit and talk one on one. "So do you have a girlfriend?" she asked, changing the subject. "No." "Have you been with anyone on the ship yet?" "Nope. It's actually been twelve years since I slept with someone." "Come on now." "It's true." I said, and then told her why (more on that later). "Hmm. That's fascinating. You know, I used to sleep with a skinny white guy from England on my last ship. You remind me of him." "Oh, yeah?" "He and I had lots of fun, and I never left him unsatisfied. I may not look it, but I'm actually a really good lover." "You don't say." "I've been with lots