Between March 2018 and July 2021, Rachael Maddux got pregnant four times and had four miscarriages. Between February 2020 and July 2022, she published these essays about her miscarriages through her newsletter, Vanitas. In these pieces, she kicks at the stubborn taboos around pregnancy loss and explores the thin lines between life and not-life at a time when reproductive rights were being decimated throughout the United States. Exasperated, heartbroken, and darkly funny, this collection is a balm for anyone stymied by their own losses, and a window into an often-obscured experience for everyone else.