A job recruiter once said to me, "Darby, you keep getting thrown into the air like a cat and landing on your feet". So began the rambles in my head that became this bunch of sideways takes where I crap on about: tips to save your soul in full time work; the joy of quitting your job; hiding in work toilets; the strangeness of work meetings; and finding hope outside the day job... based on my experiences working in offices to warehouses over 30 years. Working Nine Lives is a collection of viral TikToks on the existential weirdness of the nine-to-five.