Alan is trying hard to make sense of his world since his wife left him for Chuck in Morewilling and the local Co-op closed down.
21st century technology is eating into his wallet and his soul, and the price of a night out doesn't leave change from a tenner anymore. But he is sure about three things:
No one in Lesswilling needs a bidet or a hot tub.
There's no place for preserved lemons on British supermarket shelves.
His mother was right about hindsight - it is a "wonderful thing to meet your own arse coming back."