Aaron Belshe died on April 29, 2022. He was twenty-nine. In the months following his death, Mary Lee, his mother, started sorting through his personal belongings. She found journal after journal of notes, lists, drawings, and letters that Aaron had written as he battled with the effects and consequences of his addiction. In the first part of this book, the reader will get to know Aaron through the eyes of his mother. Mary paints a picture of Aaron's heart as she writes about his childhood and reveals some of the tragic events in Aaron's past that led to his struggle. The second part of the book was written by Aaron. His innermost thoughts, expressed in his journals, revealed even more about who he was. The reader will truly connect with Aaron and identify with his need for God as he unveils his mental struggle and daily battle with addiction and its crippling effects.

Maybe it's only a mother who would wade through the garbage, full of stench and despair, and pick up the lifeless body of one she barely recognized--desperately seeking and always finding the spark of hope and life in the eyes of this one she once called her own. Maybe only a mother would do it again and again and again...until she can't.

--Mary

I feel isolated, separate from everyone and everything, even God. I need to surround myself with truth. I need to put my fear and doubt aside and seek Him. I need to be open, ask more questions. I need to make my way back to His arms.

--Aaron