Jaundice and Kale Bland are sisters who avoid excitement at any cost. After they are kidnapped by an all-female band of pirates, they embark on a rollicking, swashbuckling--and totally unintentional--adventure. Illustrations.
In the spirit of A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters stars Jaundice and Kale Bland--two sisters who avoid excitement at any cost. Instead, they eat tasteless oatmeal, rarely venture into bright sunlight, and read only Dr. Snoote's Dictionary, because storybooks are just too thrilling. Together, they await the return of their parents, who left for an errand years ago and have never come back.

One day, a knock on the door leads to the Bland sisters' kidnapping by an all-female band of pirates--but this is only the beginning of their escapades. Filled with Roald Dahl-esque humor, hilarious high jinks, and swashbuckling, The Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters: The Jolly Regina will appeal to middle-grade readers looking for an anything-but-bland adventure.