May is a survivor. But she doesn't feel like one. She feels angry. And lost. And alone. Eleven months after the school shooting that killed her twin brother, May still doesn't know why she was the only one to walk out of the band room that day. No one gets what she went through--no one saw and heard what she did. No one can possibly understand how it feels to be her.

Zach lost his old life when his mother decided to defend the shooter. His girlfriend dumped him, his friends bailed, and now he spends his time hanging out with his little sister...and the one faithful friend who stuck around. His best friend is needy and demanding, but he won't let Zach disappear into himself. Which is how Zach ends up at band practice that night. The same night May goes with her best friend to audition for a new band.

Which is how May meets Zach. And how Zach meets May. And how both might figure out that surviving could be an option after all.

A Chicago Public Library Systems selection for Best Teen Fiction
A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of 2020
A Texas Library Association 2021 Reading List selection

A harrowing and beautifully told story about how far the tentacles of tragedy can reach. May's story of grief, survival, and reckoning is tenderly and honestly explored. A simply stunning debut. --Kathleen Glasgow, New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Pieces

A must-read for fans of Thirteen Reasons Why and This Is How It Ends.--Paste Magazine

Gripping, emotional, suspenseful, and ultimately hopeful --Karen M. McManus, New York Times bestselling author of One of Us Is Lying